


My sweet angel

by Black_servant



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_servant/pseuds/Black_servant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec lets his insecurities get the best of him and he starts thinking that Magnus should be with Isabelle instead of him. He fears that he isn't enough for his much livelier and outgoing boyfriend. Alec just wants everyone to be happy and if it means he has to step aside, it's okay. If he goes away for a while the hurt will go away, right? Then everything would be like it should be. At least that's what Alec thinks, but what about Magnus?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Insecurities rise

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first story about Alec and Magnus, I absolutely love that pair! So, I hope you like this story!

Alec stood quietly behind the door to his sister´s bedroom his hand raised to knock but he couldn´t do it. Every moment the happiness he had felt moments ago was giving way to his insecurities, as he listened to his sister and boyfriend talking animatedly about fashion and well everything they had in common. Alec and Jace had been in a gym together and when they had arrived to the Lightwood mansion Alec´s little brother Max had happily told Alec that Magnus had come to visit and was waiting for him with Isabelle in her room. Alec had felt so excited. He hadn´t seen his boyfriend in a week because Magnus´s college class had went to New York to visit some fashion desginers as a part of their studies. Alec had been really happy for his fashion loving boyfriend whose biggest dream was to be able to desing clothes himself, but he had missed him horribly. So Alec had ingnored Jace´s snickering and hurried to upstairs.

He had rushed past his own room and stopped in front of Izzy´s door to gather his breathe. Then just as he was about to knock laughter erupted from the room and that made Alec freeze. _"They sound so happy together..."_ Alec found he couldn´t knock so he lowered his hand and just listened. Luckily for him Jace and Max stayed downstairs and his parents were on a bussiness trip so no one caught him basically spying his boyfriend and little sister.

They were talking animatedly about fashion and about Magnus´ trip. They were laughing and clearly having a very good time. Alec tried to fight down the horrible thoughts about his sister and Magnus that were raising because of his own insecurities. He tried really hard to convince himself to just knock and everything would be fine and he would see his very much missed boyfriend but it really wasn´t working. _"Come on Alec, just knock. There´s nothing going on with them. You know they´re just great friends and they have a lot in common. You should be happy that your sister and boyfriend get along so well... Now don´t be so stupid. You really are such a horrible person... doubting the ones you love like this... Now just knock!"_ Determined Alec again raised his had to knock on the door but... _"Yeah they´re similar. They would make a great pair and everyone else thinks so too..."_ Tears started to burn in Alec´s eyes at that thought and he dropped his hand back to his side as his whole body started to shook.

It was true. There were many people in their school that thought that Magnus and Isabelle would be the perfect couple and many had wondered why the hell Magnus Bane had started dating Alec instead. Then there were the times when they had been out together and some strangers had told Isabelle and Magnus that they were a great couple. They always laughed at that and Magnus always told that he was dating Alec but it hurt every time. The worst case was when Alec was supposed to introduce Magnus to his parents: they too had assumed that Magnus was Izzy´s boyfriend. Alec wiped his eyes in slight anger to stop himself from crying. He was still shaking softly and it didn´t help that he could easily hear the easy banter going on between his sister and boyfriend it just made his insecurities and doubts worse.

Alec had been used to being a shadow ever since he was little. Ever since Izzy was born and after Jace had been adopted into their family and then Max was born. Alec was the oldest so he had to be the responsible one. He couldn´t cause trouble and he had to look after his much livelier siblings. It was okay to Alec even though it sometimes hurt. Especially when they were teenagers and nobody ever noticed Alec because his siblings took all the attention with their open personalities and dashing looks. It hurt but Alec trained himself to ingore it. He had told himself over and over again that he didn´t care for the attention, he had to be good, he had to be silent, he had to be a shadow, he had to be almost invisibe. It worked and just before Alec met Magnus he was quite okay to be invisible to everyone.

But then Alec had met Magnus and for the first time someone saw him instead of his siblings. It felt so good and Alec fell hard for the excentric fashion student who demanded attention with his whole being. At first Alec had tried to deny his feelings towards the man who dressed in very flattering skin tight clothes, wasn´t affraid to use all the the colours in the rainbow in his clothing and couldn´t leave the house without glitter. It just couldn´t work, Alec had told himself. They were too different but Magnus didn´t give up. He was adamant to show Alec that they could work, that they were perfect for each other and slowly Alec had started to believe him.

They had started dating and it had been wonderfull. Alec felt so free and so happy. Someone had noticed him and wanted to be with him and that someone just happened to be Magnus one of the most gorgeous and popular people in the school not that that mattered to Alec at all. Just the fact that someone noticed him and cared about him felt amazing. It was like a dream.

When Alec had realised that he was gay at the age of thirteen he had been so sure that there would never be anyone for him. He decided that no one should even know that he was gay. It wouldn´t change anything and he didn´t want to risk angering his parents. That plan didn´t work long because he accidentally outed himself to his parents when he had fallen asleep in the living room and unfortunately he had had a dream about coming out to his parents while they too had been in the living room. It was ridicilous really when he thought about it. How could someone have such a bad luck but in the end he was thankful about that. Because even thought his father had been mad at first his mother had managed to talk sense into him and they had both accepted him in the end. It had been amazing how relieved he had been and how happy it had made him to know that he didn´t have to keep such a big secret. Alec had still thought that he would never date but at least he didn´t have to keep secrets about his sexuality.

Then Magnus arrived and he really had changed everything. Someone had seen Alec and found him beautiful. Alec wasn´t very good at taking compliments but they still made him very happy. All the attention, compliments and pet names Magnus gave him made him so esthatic. Magnus made him happy and he loved him. They had dated a little over a year and now all those insecurities he had thought were going away came back in that one moment and they seemed to be worse than ever.

Alec tried to breathe deeply so that he could get back in control over his emotions. _"Please just knock and everything will be alright. I´m sure seeing Magnus will make everything better. All you have to do is knock..."_ Alec took a very deep breathe and readied himself...

"...Ooh, that sounds so wonderful. All that fashion and famous designers you got to see and meet..."

"Yeah it was really cool! You would love that place!"

"Oh totally, but I bet Alec would hate it!"

Alec´s whole body froze again. He could hear soft laughter coming from the room before Magnus answered.

"Yeah, my darling really has no fashion sense. It´s such a shame but luckily he has a sister who understands those things perfectly."

"Tell me about it. It really is a wonder how you two work together when you´re so different. He just doesn´t understand anything about fashion and I know how much it means to you..."

Alec was aware that Magnus and Izzy continued their conversation but he couldn´t understand what they were talking about anymore. Their words kept ringing in his head. _"...darling...has no fashion sense...how you two work together...so different... doesn´t understand anything about fashion... means so much to you..."_ Slowly Alec started backing away from the door. Then he turned around and walked to his own room closing the door tightly behind him.

Alec leaned against the door and lowered himself to the floor. He sat there for a moment staring blindly ahead. The earlier conversation still going trough his mind. The tears game. It started as a slow flow and then turned into pitiful sobs. Alec buried his head into his knees trying to be as quiet as possible. He dind´t want anyone to hear him. It hurt so much and all the doubts were back stronger than ever. Alec was sure that Izzy and Magnus wouldn´t really do anything behind his back... _"But perhaps it would be better if I would leave somewhere and give them the change to be together... I mean it´s true that they would be perfect together... And perhaps after some time away this hurt will go away and I could be happy for them..."_


	2. Where are you angel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi here´s the secon chapter, finally. I´m really sorry for the long wait but I promise that I´ll publish the next chapter quicker. For now I hope you like this chapter!

Magnus was getting restless. He had already been here for a little over an hour and the person he wanted to see hadn´t come home yet. Yes Isabelle was funny and it was nice to talk about fashion with her but now the only thing he wanted was to see Alec, his Alec. His wonderful boyfriend who he hadn´t seen in a week.

Magnus had hurried to see Alec as soon as he had dropped his luggage to his apartment. He hadn´t even went to pick up Chairman Meow from Ragnor yet because he had wanted to see Alec first and now his boyfriend wasn´t even home yet! A soft sigh escaped from Magnus´ lips and he once again tried to concentrate on what Isabelle was saying to him but it was very difficult when the only thing he could really think about was blue eyes, messy dark hair and a shy smile that should greet him. _“…and then I would take him into my arms and kiss him… and then he would blush in that adorable way and then I will kiss him again and…”_ Magnus thoughts were cut off by Isabelle who was waving her hand in front of his face.

 

“Earth to Magnus! You aren´t even listening to me!”

 

Isabelle said trying to look hurt but she couldn´t hold the mischievous smile away from her lips as she looked at Magnus. She knew exactly what he was thinking about and she found it really adorable. Magnus smiled at Isabelle.

 

“Sorry Izzy but you know I haven´t seen Alec in a week and I really missed him.”

 

“I know and I know he missed you too. Don´t worry they will be here soon. But while we wait for them tell me more about New York.”

 

“It was great. We got to meet a few actual fashion designers and they told us about their work and how they managed to start their own lines. They even promised to look our designs and give their opinions. I learned a lot! The best part however was when we visited their stores and oh my god it was wonderful. I spent so much money on shoes and clothes.”

 

“Ooh, that sounds so wonderful. All that fashion and famous designers you got to see and meet…!

 

Isabelle sighed dreamily. She would have loved to be there too.

 

“Yeah it was really cool! You would love that place!”

 

Isabelle smiled and then a thought about Alec standing awkwardly in a shop that sold high fashion came to her mind and she laughed softly and exclaimed.

 

“Oh totally, but I bet Alec would hate it!”

 

Magnus smiled fondly.

 

“Yeah, my darling really has no fashion sense. It´s such a shame but luckily she has a sister who understands those things perfectly.”

 

Magnus joked and laughed. Isabelle smiled.

 

“Tell me about it. It really is a wonder how you two work together when you´re so different. He just doesn´t understand anything about fashion and I know how much it means to you…”

 

Isabelle shook her head in amusement. Sometimes she really wondered how the two worked. But it didn´t really matter, she was just so happy for both of them even though at first she had been slightly jealous because she had been interested in Magnus and then she went and introduced him to Alec, Jace and Clary and it soon became clear that Magnus was completely taken by Alec. Luckily the jealousy didn´t last long and now Isabelle was just very happy for his brother and friend.

 

Magnus frowned softly.

 

“Don´t say that. It doesn´t matter that Alec isn´t interested in fashion like I am. Even though he doesn´t care about it he still listens and encourages me. He´s so amazing in so many ways and he doesn´t even realize it himself…”

 

“Easy Magnus, I didn´t mean anything bad by it. It´s because you are different that you complete each other so well. And honestly you two are one of the most disgustingly sweet and lovey dopey couple that I´ve ever seen.”

 

That made Magnus grin.

 

“Yeah, I just really love him…”

Isabelle smiled softly at that. Then she glanced at her clock and frowned. It was already 8 p.m. The boys should be home already. Isabelle got up from her bed.

 

“Let´s go check downstairs. The boys should be home already and I really thought that Alec would have come straight here after he heard that you are here.”

 

Magnus also got up and nodded. He was eager to finally see his Alec. Together they made their way downstairs and then to the living room where they could hear Jace and Max talking and laughing together. When they entered the living room Magnus frowned: Alec wasn´t there.

 

“Hey where´s Alec?”

 

Isabelle asked looking puzzled. Max and Jace turned to look at her in puzzlement.

 

“What do you mean? He ran upstairs as soon as he heard that Magnus was there with you.”

 

“He didn´t come to my room…”

 

Isabelle muttered.

 

“Well perhaps he went to this own room… or something… Perhaps he went to shower and, I don´t know fell asleep… He has been really tired and we went through quite hard gym routine today.”

 

Jace said even though he didn´t sound so sure.

 

“Okay I go check his room.”

 

Magnus told and turned around to go back upstairs. He ended up running to Alec´s room because he was so worried. To his great relief he saw Alec sleeping on his bed. Well actually he could only see a small tuft of black hair because otherwise Alec was completely covered with his blanket.

 

Magnus smiled lovingly and made his way to the bed. He carefully sat next to Alec trying to not wake him. Magnus lowered the blanket slightly so he was able to see Alec´s face. Warmth filled him as he gazed at his sleeping boyfriend. _“He´s so beautiful.”_ The fashion student smiled softly and lowered himself so he was able to plant a gentle kiss to his boyfriend´s forehead.

 

“You must have been really tired… You should take better care of yourself… always looking after everyone else…”

 

Magnus murmured quietly before he lowered himself so he could lie next to Alec. He carefully wrapped both of his arms around Alec and pulled the sleeping teen against himself and buried his nose into messy black locks. Magnus inhaled deeply and let Alec´s sweet scent fill his nostrils and comfort him. He had missed Alec so much. Magnus had only meant to lie there for a short moment but he ended up falling asleep.

 

After a little while Isabelle peaked into the room and smiled at the sight that greeted her. She was still confused that Alec had apparently fallen asleep before had come to see Magnus but perhaps it was understandable. _“After all he usually does everything around the house especially now that mom and dad are away… He looks after Max, cooks, cleans and of course he has school too… No wonder he´s so tired… We should really try to help him a bit more…”_ With these thoughts Isabella went back to the living room to join Max and Jace before they too went to sleep.


	3. The decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy, I try to update the next chapter soon!

When Alec woke up the next morning he carefully turned in Magnus arms so he could look at him. He had been awake when Magnus had come to his room last night but he had decided to pretend that he was sleeping and hope that Magnus wouldn’t notice the truth. He had been too shaken up to face Magnus last night. But it had felt comforting to have Magnus holding him and for a moment Alec had been able to forget all his insecurities and fall asleep peacefully.

Alec gently lifted his right hand and stroked Magnus cheek. _“He’s so beautiful and just incredible… I’ve missed him so much but I’m just so afraid that I’m not good enough for him… I mean it’s true that we’re different… and Izzy and Magnus are similar… and they look great together… NO! Don’t think like that not now or you’re going to cry again… Get yourself together!”_

Luckily for Alec Magnus took that moment to wake and Alec forgot all his thoughts as he became mesmerized watching how those long lashes parted and revealed the most beautiful green and gold eyes. Even though Magnus’ makeup had smudged a little during the night in Alec’s eyes he was still beautiful. Then Magnus grinned at Alec and pulled him closer and kissed him softly.

Magnus really didn’t know a better way to wake up than to have his blue eyed beauty gazing at him. It had been way too long since he had last seen those mesmerizing eyes and had Alec there so he could kiss and cuddle him. Magnus pulled Alec closer and kissed him softly trying to tell him how much he had missed him.

Alec answered to the kiss eagerly and for a moment it was just him and Magnus. All his insecurities were forgotten and he was just ecstatic to have Magnus there with him. They spent a long time just kissing and caressing each other whispering soft words about how much they had missed each other and how happy they were to see each other again. It was blissful.

Magnus gently brushed Alec’s hair away from his face and smiled softly. Then he leaned forward and kissed Alec’s forehead softly.

“I really missed you so much… Yesterday I just rushed here to see you…”

“I missed you too. I’m… I’m really sorry for yesterday I wanted to come and see you when Max told me that you were here… but… I…”

Alec didn’t know what to say… suddenly their bliss was broken and Alec could remember everything that happened last night too clearly. He really wanted to forget it all. Magnus was here with him and everything was so great… Why he had to be so damn insecure? Before Alec could make up a believable story Magnus spoke.

“It’s okay darling. Jace told us you have been really tired and you just fell asleep.”

Magnus smiled and caressed Alec’s cheek a loving look in his eyes.

“You always work too hard and forget to take care of yourself… But don’t worry darling I’m here and I’m going to see that you rest properly.”

Magnus declared and pressed a kiss against Alec’s lips. Alec couldn’t help but laugh at that and kiss Magnus back.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve been really tired lately…”

Alec admitted softly. It was true but as we all know that wasn’t what happened last night. However Alec really didn’t want to burden Magnus with his insecurities. He would just have to deal with them and perhaps now that Magnus was here with him he could get rid of them. Alec desperately wanted to believe that. The thought that he might lose Magnus was terrifying. He loved him so much. Alec just hoped that he really was good enough for Magnus. _“Magnus thinks I’m good enough, doesn’t he. He chose me… I just have to make sure that my stupid insecurities won’t get the best of me. It’s so wrong of me to doubt him… It shouldn’t matter what other people think…”_

“What are you thinking about blue eyes?”

Magnus asked softly as he continued to comb his fingers through Alec’s unruly hair. Alec started slightly at the question because he had been so spaced out and then smiled sheepishly at Magnus when he started chuckling at the reaction. Magnus just grinned widely and kissed Alec’s forehead.

“You’re so precious darling but really what were you thinking about?”

“Uh… I just… well…you and how much I…missed you…”

Alec managed to answer. Magnus just smiled and leaned forward to kiss Alec deeply.

“I missed you too darling”

Then Magnus pulled Alec into another longer kiss. At first it was just lips against lips until Magnus opened his mouth slightly and caressed Alec’s lips with his tongue, asking for entrance. Alec instantly opened his lips. Their tongues met and gently caressed each other until they started to fight for dominance and the kiss got more passionate. In the end Magnus won and took his time claiming Alec’s mouth. As they continued kissing their hands also started wandering. They caressed and rubbed each other softly and they would have continued if Isabelle wouldn’t have rushed into the room without knocking.

“Good morning! Hope you both slept well, sorry to spoil your fun but Ragnor keeps calling me because Magnus isn’t answering his phone. So Magnus go fetch your cat and you may take Alec with you and keep him for one night. I think we can manage one day without him… but he has to be returned tomorrow. See you!”

Isabelle informed cheerfully and then left the room leaving behind an amused Magnus and furiously blushing Alec.

“Well you heard her darling. I’m allowed to take you with me so let’s go safe my cat!”

“Last time I checked Izzy didn’t have the right to hand me out like that…”

Alec muttered and Magnus only laughed and pulled Alec into a tight embrace.

“Mm…perhaps so darling but her offer is too tempting so I’m taking you with me with your permission or with the permission your sister just gave to me… so pretty please will you come with me willingly?”

Now it was Alec’s turn to laugh and he just had to give Magnus a peck.

“Of course I’ll come with you…”

They smiled at each other and kissed one more time before they got up. Magnus went to the bathroom to fix his makeup while Alec quickly changed his clothes to another pair of dark jeans, black t-shirt and a black sweater. Alec glanced to a mirror and stopped. _“I guess I really look bland next to Magnus… Perhaps if I tried a little more with the clothes…”_ Alec sighed tiredly. _“Would that help…? I just don’t really think about clothing. I mean I can see Magnus looks great… but me… I guess I’m just too boring…”_

“Are you ready to go darling?”

Alec startled again but managed a shaky smile and a nod. _“It’s best if I try just not to think about these things…”_

Magnus grinned and extended his hand to Alec who smiled and took the offered hand and the two of them headed towards Ragnor’s home hand in hand fingers intertwined.  

* * *

Chairman Meow was ecstatic to see his two people. The cat purred happily in Alec’s lap as both Alec and Magnus pet him. They had just gotten back from Ragnor’s and were busy spoiling the small cat.

“I missed you my little furball.”

Magnus cooed as he scratched behind Chairman’s ears. Chairman meowed happily and then got up to rub himself against Alec’s torso. Alec’s smile widened and he picked the cat up and gently rubbed his cheek against the soft fur. Magnus smiled as the Chairman purred happily.

“I really hope that the next time I have to go somewhere you could stay here with the Chairman. He and Ragnor don’t really get along… or well he doesn’t usually get along with anybody except for you and me.”

Magnus said smiling and Alec smiled back.

“Yeah, I would have loved to take care of him but with school, work and my parents being away it would have been too difficult and seeing that I really couldn’t take him home with me because it would have drove Jace and Izzy crazy. “

Magnus laughed as he stroked the small cat.

“Yeah Chairman and your siblings really don’ get along. Well he likes Max.”

Alec smiled and continued to cuddle with the Chairman. _“Well at least someone thinks I’m a better choice than Jace or Izzy… Thank you Meow.”_

They spent the rest of the evening playing with Chairman Meow and then retired to play with each other.

* * *

 

The week that followed was quite normal. They went to school and work, hung out with their friends and spent time together. On the outside it seemed that everything was okay but Alec was still struggling with his insecurities and it seemed that every time they spent time with their friend somebody commented how good Izzy and Magnus looked together. To Alec it started to look like that everyone thought that Magnus should be with Izzy instead of him. Alec hated it and he hated the fact that it seemed that his insecurities didn’t leave him alone even when there was just him and Magnus. It seemed there was another presence in the back of his mind who was always whispering hoe perfect Izzy and Magnus where together and that Alec should give them a change to be together…

It didn’t help that Alec had recently started working for his father’s company along with school. That meant that he didn’t have as much time to spend with Magnus as he would hope to have. Including that it hurt every time Magnus or Izzy told him how much they had had with their friends. They always said that they hoped Alec could have been with them and Izzy even tried to persuade him to quit his work but Alec couldn’t do that and disappoint his father.

It had been a really hard week for Alec. Now he was sitting in their living room waiting for Jace, Izzy and Magnus. He had been working and looking after Max as the others went to eat at Taki’s. He was tired it was already almost midnight and he had put Max to bed two hours ago and now he was just waiting. Magnus had said he could spent the night so they could be together seeing as Alec couldn’t join them. _“I hope they’ll be here soon… I would like to stay awake a little while after Magnus comes… we could talk and perhaps cuddle a little…”_

A soft blush rise to Alec’s cheeks at his thoughts. Just then he heard the front door being opened. Alec hurried to see Magnus and siblings. The sight that greeted him made him freeze and it became hard to breathe. Jace was holding the door open to Magnus and Izzy. They were all laughing and Izzy was hanging of Magnus arm. It took a while before they noticed Alec and they all smiled.

“Hey Alec!”

“Hi big brother”

“Hello darling!”

Magnus smiled and made a beeline to Alec making Isabelle release her grip on his arms. He gathered Alec into his arms and kissed him. It took Alec a moment to get his act together but he finally managed. He kissed Magnus back even thought it was a bit hesitant.

“Hi, did you have fun”

_“Stupid question of course they had fun… so much fun without you…”_

“Yeah we had great time!”

Isabelle exclaimed happily.

“Yeah it was great and next time I’m going to drag you with us no matter how much work you have. And Clary told me to tell you hi, she would also like to see you more often.”

Jace told his brother. Alec smiled softly at him.

“Yeah I try, tell her I said hi back and that I would try. How’s that art project she started going?”

“It’s going great. She’s really excited about it.”

Alec nodded and smiled a bit bigger. It was a little easier to breathe now.

“Yup but Jace I suggest that we leave these two love birds alone. After all Magnus almost ruined our evening by complaining how much he missed Alec.”

Isabelle smirked at the two. Magnus stuck his tongue at her childishly making her laugh before he ushered Jace upstairs leaving Magnus and Alec alone.

Magnus turned Alec around and kissed him softly.

“I really missed you… You work so damn hard you should really take a break darling.”

Alec smiled a little shakily.

“I guess… I should… I talk with my dad tomorrow.”

“Good, now let’s get you to bed, I can see that you are tired.”

They made their way upstairs in silence. There Magnus washed his makeup away and they both changed into their pajamas and lied down on Alec’s king sized bed. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and kissed his neck softly.

“Sweet dreams darling”

“Good night Magnus”

Alec whispered. He was sure his dreams would be far from sweet this night.

In the morning Magnus had to hurry to his morning glass and he left Alec alone to his thoughts. Now Alec was sure that he should give Magnus and Izzy a change to be together. He was just a burden here… Alec picked his cellphone from his nightstand and selected his father’s number. It only beeped twice before Robert Lightwood answered.

“Hi father, it’s me Alec.”

***

“Yeah, no everything’s fine. I was just wondering… Well do you remember when you spoke that I should do some time abroad? You know go to school and work abroad in one of your branch offices.

***

“Do you think it could still be arranged? I think it would be good for me.”

***

“Great, thank you dad.”

***

“As soon as possible would be the best.”

***

“Not nothing bad has happened and me and Magnus are fine.”

Alec closed his eyes and grossed his fingers. He really hated lying but this was the only way…

“I just got the feeling that now would be the right time.”

***

“The day after tomorrow? Okay that’s okay.”

***

“No, no that’s perfectly fine. I’m just worried about Max. Will you find someone to look after him so soon? I mean Izzy and Jace will manage a few days but after that…”

***

“You call Hodge? Okay that’s good. Well I better start packing then and you’ll contact my school and send me the plane tickets and other instructions?”

***

“Okay, thank you so much father. I’m really excited about going to London. Take care and say hi to mom.”

***

"I will. Love you too!"


	4. To London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far, I really hope you like this chapter too!!

After the phone call Alec started to ponder how he should tell his siblings that he would be leaving to London the day after tomorrow. _"And what should I tell to Magnus... Should I just say that we should stop dating and he should try to be with Izzy...? No, I could never do that perhaps if I said we should take a break and someway encourage him to see other people... That way it all might go more naturally and when I come back from London he can tell me it's over or he can call me or text me... And then... And then that would be it..."_ Alec had to blink furiously so that the tears wouldn't escape. It was horrible to think about his life without Magnus but Alec was convinced that it would be best for Magnus...

Alec shook his head and decided to concentrate on packing. It would be better to think about somethig else and perhaps while he was packing he could come up with a plan on how to break the new to his siblings... and to Magnus. Alec took out his two biggest suitcases and started to fill them with his cothes and all the other things he thought he might need for the month he would be staying in London. _"It's quite sad... If things were differently this might be truly exciting experience... I had thought that I would go to London after both Magnus and I had gratuated and we could have gone together... Magnus always talked about London so fondly. It would be a diffrent experience compared to New York seeing that we only have about two hour drive to New York from where we live..."_ Alec sighed. He shouldn't dream about things like that when he knew that they wouldn't ever happen. Alec forced himself to concentrate only on packing and figuring out what he would need to take with him. Luckily it was Friday and he was free for the whole day and he would be free on Saturday too so he had plenty of time to pack, get ready and hopefully figure out how he would explain this sudden trip to his siblings and Magnus.

In the end Alec didn't really have to come out with a plan on how to tell his siblings because when Isabellle, Jace and Max came home from school Isabelle rushed into Alec's room and caught him packing. Of course she demanded an explanation and yelled for Max and Jace to come to Alec's room too.

It was very difficult for Alec to try and tell that he was going to London for a month and even more difficult to try and make his siblings accept it. Max had started crying and was hugging him and begging him not to go. It broke his heart to see his little brother so distressed. Jace and Izzy were really annoyed and tried every reason to make him stay but Alec knew he couldn't. This was something he had to do and in the end his siblings told him that they understood even if they didn't. Alec promised to text and call them as often as they wanted and he promised he would bring some comics to Max as a souvenir. It was very emotinal and Alec felt bad but he tried to comfort them telling that he would only be gone for a month. They all hugged him and told him that they would come to see him of.

After a while of just hugging and comforting each other Alec suggested that they all should eat something. His siblings nodded and slowly made their way to the kitchen. Alec was the last one to leave his room and before he could Isabelle turned to look at him and asked:

"Have you told Magnus about this?"

Alec just shook his head no.

"Well you better do that soon... You know he won't like this at all..."

Izzy said sadly. Alec just nodded and smiled a little at her. _"Yeah I just need to figure out how to tell him and what to tell him..."_

That evening Alec and Magnus texted eah other like they normally would and Alec really tried to tell Magnus that he was going to London but he was never able to sent that text. He just couldn't do it. He knew Magnus was busy with his new assingment. They had to great a whole outfit that was inspired by their visit to New York. Magnus was really excited about it and it made Alec happy. Magnus was so special and incredible.

In the end Alec couldn't tell his news to Magnus throug a text message so when Magnus suggested that they should meet tomorrow Alec agreed and and decided that he would tell Magnus this face to face. That was the right thing to do. _"And I can see Magnus before I go..."_

* * *

 

Alec cursed himself silently as he opened their front door the next evening. He had seen Magnus and it had been really nice but he hand't been able to tell him that he would be leaving to London the next morning... _"Oh god I'm so pathetic... Idiot, that's what you're Alec Lightwood..."_

Alec made his way to his room praying that he wouldn't bump into anyone especially Izzy because he knew that if he did she would immidiately ask him if he had told Magnus. Alec sighed. _"What should I do...? I have to tell him somehow... I can't just take and leave without a word... But what should I do? I wasn't able to tell him throug a text message or face to face..."_

Alec went to his own room and cosed the door behind himself. He sat down at his desk and for a moment just stared out the window. _"Perhaps I should write him a letter... It's not the best way to handle this but then at least I'd be able to tell him everything I need..."_ So Alec took a piece of paper and a pen and started writing. It took him a while but finally he felt that the letter was good enough. He sealed it into an envelope and wrote Magnus' addres on it and finally put a stamp on it. He would post it from the airport. Then Alec turned the lights out and changed to his pajamas. He put his phone to wake him at six am.

The next morning Alec ate with his siblings and then Jace drove all of them to the airport. They said their teary goodbyes and Alec once again promised to call and text them whenever they wanted. Then he hugged each of his sibling tighly and headed to the check-in and then to the security check. After that he had about half an hour before his plane would leave so he went to look for a mailbox. When he found one he took a deep breathe and slipped the white envelope into the mailbox. For a moment he just stared at he mailbox before he shook his head. _"I hope this fixes everything."_

Then Alec made his way to his gate and waited until they were allowed to get into the plane. Alec made his way to the plane with the other passangers and then took his own seat. He felt a bit nauseous and teary. He wanted to get up and go to Magnus but he couldn't this was it. He was giving Magnus a change to be with someone who truly deserved him. He would get over him... eventually.

Alec was so lost in his thoughts that at first he didn't notice that they were moving. He had missed all the annoucements and instructions as he couldn't stop thinking about Magnus. His wonderful, fabulous and sweet boyfriend. Alec would miss him so much. The plane took of. He was on his way to London and hopefully his letter would reach Magnus soon.


	5. Dear Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos, I really hope that you will like this chapter too! I'm sorry that it sometimes takes me a while to update but I can promise you that I will finish all my stories even if it might take a while.

_Dear Magnus_

_I’m really sorry that you have to read all this from a letter. I wanted to tell you everything face to face but I just couldn’t, I’m sorry. I was too much of a coward, another reason why I don’t deserve you._

_But what I wanted to tell you is that I’m going to London or actually by the time that this letter reaches you I’m already in London. I’ll be here for a while to study and work in my father’s company. My father suggested this and at first I declined but then I decided that perhaps it would be good for me and for you too. You see I think it would be wise for us to have a little break or a longer one... You could see other people that are better suited to you. I mean we are very different and as much as I would want to understand fashion and be more sociable it just isn’t me and I can only listen to you and be there for you but I can’t really give you that much. You deserve someone who is as bright and fabulous as you. You deserve someone who you can talk about everything, have fun together, go to parties together and so on. I try but I realize that I’m not enough and I never were._

_I love you Magnus and I want you to be happy with someone who really deserves you. I know it’s not my place to advice you on who you should be with and I’m sure you find someone new in no time because you’re so amazing but you and Izzy have a lot in common… so perhaps you should give it a go?_

_I hope we can still be friends after this…perhaps? But if not I understand. Thank you for making me feel so special. No one else has ever noticed me like you did. I was just always the shadow behind Izzy and Jace and that was okay but then for some reason you saw me and it was incredible so thank you for that. I hope everything will work out for you. I’m sorry. I love you._

_Yours always_

_Alec_

* * *

It was late Tuesday afternoon and Magnus was driving home. He had been working on his New York –outfit but it didn’t go as well as he would have liked because he was worried and anxious. He hadn’t seen Alec since Saturday and he already missed him and adding to that that Alec hadn’t been answering his calls or messages. Magnus had only gotten one answer on Sunday evening and it wasn’t something he liked liked. Alec had told him that he wouldn’t be able to answer him for a short while and he would soon know why and then Alec had apologized and that’s it. Magnus couldn’t understand what was going and it made him anxious. He was sure that whatever it was it wouldn’t be good. He had noticed that Alec’s behavior had been a little odd after he came back from New York and Magnus had tried to give him time so he could tell him what it was… _“Perhaps I should have just forced him tell me what’s going on… Because now I’m worried that something really bad is going to happen. God, I love that silly boy so much… I just want to be with him and cuddle him, kiss him and make him plush in that adorable way… Why he isn’t answering me?”_

Magnus parked his car and made his towards his apartment on the way he stopped by the mailbox to see if he had gotten any mail. He continued to walk towards his apartment as he absentmindedly went through his mail. _“Perhaps I should go visit Alec today and we could talk properly… I was so busy with my outfit that I didn’t have time to see him in school…”_ Then Magnus came across a simple white letter. He frowned he usually only received only commercial pamphlets or clothes and make up packets he had ordered himself but the letter was clearly addressed to him. For a moment Magnus just stared at the letter. He was quite sure he knew that handwriting and that made the whole letter see even scarier.

Magnus shook his head and opened his front door and Chairman Meow came to greet him. Magnus smiled at the small white cat that rubbed against his legs with a soft purr. The fashion student put the commercial pamphlets on a small table and pent down to pick the small cat in to his arms making Chairman purr a little louder as he now rubbed against Magnus’ cheek.

“Hello my sweet Meow, how have you been?”

Magnus laughed at the loud purr he received as an answer as he made his way to his living room. He sat on his pink couch and Chairman settled into his lap. Then Magnus again looked at the letter he had kept with him. He hesitated a moment before he finally opened it and started reading. He had to read again and again and again. Then finally he just sat there and stared at the letter. He could feel tears in his eyes. This couldn’t be true it just couldn’t. Alec can’t be in London and how he could ever think he wasn’t good enough for Magnus when he was everything to Magnus. Nothing in the letter made sense to Magnus.

_“Okay Bane deep breathes, deep breathes.”_ He took a few shuddering breathes and he read the letter once again. It still didn’t make that much sense to him but slowly he started understanding it a little. _“Oh Alec, my sweet little angel how could you ever think like this… and what the hell is this “you and Izzy have a lot in common… so perhaps you should give it a go?” Oh my darling idiot I love you! Me and Izzy what a thought sure she is a great friend but I have never seen her as anything more… It’s really hard when she has such a gorgeous brother… Gorgeous, amazing brother who can be a little idiotic sometimes.”_ Magnus thought with a fond smile.

Now that Magnus had calmed down a little it all seemed clearer. Magnus knew that Alec had lots of insecurities but he had thought that they were easing and Alec believed him when he told him that he only wanted to be with Alec but apparently it wasn’t so or something had happened to make Alec’s fears re-surface. Magnus shook his head. He was still too shake up and panicked to think all this logically. He wanted so badly to see Alec so they could talk about this but if the letter was correct then Alec would be in London far away from him and he knew that Alec wouldn’t answer if he tried to call him.

_“Okay I need to do something… First I need to find out if Alec really is in London… Yes, I have to find him and then we can talk and hopefully clear everything up. Yes… so… ISABELLE! She will know! Yes I go see her right away.”_ Magnus got up and sent poor Chairman to the floor. He looked apologetically at his cat he had really forgotten that Chairman was still in his lap.

“Sorry Chairman but I really need to go see Isabelle and find out where Alec is.”

The cat only hissed at him and sauntered to his bedroom. Magnus huffed at the cat. _“If you knew what was going on you wouldn’t be so calm and hiss at me… I know you like Alec as much as I do you pompous little cat…”_ With these thoughts Magnus stuffed the letter into his pocket and hurried to his car and drove to the Lightwood’s house. Magnus knew he was driving recklessly but he couldn’t help it, he was just so worried and anxious.

When he finally arrived he hurriedly parked his car and made his way to the door and started ringing the bell and knocking the door. He realized that it was quite late and he really shouldn’t be doing this but all the calmness was now gone and he was just frantic.

Luckily it didn’t take long for Jace to open the door.

“Bane, what the hell are you doing? Max is already sleeping!”

Jace demanded annoyed.

“Sorry but is your sister home or whatever you will know too right. Is it true? Is Alec in London?”

Jace was taken aback. It was clear that Magnus was panicking and before he could ask him to repeat his question Isabelle, Simon and Clary made their way to the door.

“Jace who is it?”

“Magnus! What are you doing here?”

Both Clary and Isabelle spoke at the same time. Magnus just looked at them tiredly and then repeated his question.

“Is it true that Alec is in London?”

All their eyes widened and the same thought went through all their heads “Alec didn’t tell him?” Isabelle was the first to recover and when she did she went to Magnus and gently took his arm and pulled him inside.

“Let’s go to the living room to talk.”

She said firmly and led Magnus there. Jace closed the door and then followed them with Clary and Simon. They all sat down. Magnus and Izzy on the couch, Jace and Clary sat on a loveseat together and Simon took one of the armchairs. When they were all seated Isabelle finally answered Magnus’ question.

“To answer to your question… yes Alec is in London. He left on Sunday… I thought he told you about that.”

Magnus pressed his face to his hands and tried to breathe deeply. So Alec is in London, that means he has to go to London too.


	6. I'm coming for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, hope you like the new chapter!

”Magnus… What? Alec really didn’t tell you that he was going to London?”

“No he didn’t. Well at least not to me personally… He sent me this letter that I just got where he told that he’s in London and I just had to come here to make sure it’s true… I still can’t believe it and I can’t believe why he left…”

“A letter, what letter? And what do you mean why he left? He left to get more experience…”

Magnus just turned to look at Isabelle with a brow raised in a questioning manner.

“Or at least that is what he told us…”

“Bane, what he did he say to you in that letter?”

Jace demanded and Magnus wordlessly handed the letter to Jace. Everybody turned to look at Jace as he silently read the letter but as he kept reading his expression slowly started to change from impassive to furious. When he had read it he got up angrily and glared at Magnus.

“What the hell Bane! What did you do now? And Isabelle what the hell!! Have you two been going out behind Alec’s back or something?! I thought you had something going on with Simon but what the hell?!”

“Jace calm down what on earth are you talking about? There’s nothing between me and Magnus and yes me and Simon are trying to see how that works out.”

“Well it seems Alec thinks that there’s something going on between you two!”

Jace yelled angrily and Magnus too got up.

“That’s not true. There hasn’t ever been anything between me and Isabelle. I don’t know where Alec got that idea but I have to find him and right this misunderstanding…I…”

Magnus voice broke out and he had to take a few deep breathes to calm himself before he could continue.

“I love Alec so much and I don’t understand what happened but I just want to make it right.”

Jace was quiet and just stared at Magnus.

“Can I see the letter?”

Isabelle asked quietly and Jace handed it over to her without a word. Isabelle quickly read the letter over and then just stared at it. She couldn’t understand what made Alec think that there was something going on between him and Magnus. It didn’t make any sense to her. Slowly Isabelle looked up from the letter and handed it back to Magnus.

“I really don’t understand this…”

She whispered quietly. She couldn’t believe that this was the true reason why Alec had left.

As Jace continued to glare at Magnus and Isabelle Clary and Simon exchanged a glance before Clary cleared her throat to get attention. They all turned to look at her.

“Guys I think me and Simon might have an idea why Alec thought that there was something going on between Izzy and Magnus or why he thought he should give them a change to be together.”

Clary said. She had seen the letter when Jace was reading it and she really felt that she understood Alec.

“Then tell us”

Magnus pleaded.

“Well you three are all very sociable and popular people unlike Alec, Simon and me so it’s natural that sometimes we feel that we hinder you. And I think Alec feels that the most because he always tries to take care of others and see that he does everything he can to support others even if he gets hurt in the process… I mean… Magnus you like to party and you like fashion just like Isabelle does and because of that you are great friends but Alec doesn’t care about looks or parties so I think he feels that he is in the way somehow…

“But he isn’t! I always tell him that it’s okay that he doesn’t like fashion or parties…”

“Yes Magnus I know but sometimes your insecurities get the best of you… and perhaps something happened to make Alec think that he isn’t suitable to you and that’s why he wanted you to try it out with Isabelle… I can’t be sure about that but I’m sure that the main reason why Alec left and now suggests you try to find someone else is because he thinks he isn’t good enough for you and that he should give you a change to find someone supposedly better partner for yourself.”

Magnus just stared at Clary before turning to look at Simon when he spoke.

“Yeah and I think it might also be that Alec misunderstood your relationship and feelings because of the way you and Isabelle act together.”

“What do you mean Simon? The way we act, we haven’t done anything like that!”

Isabelle demanded angrily.

“I don’t mean that you have done it purposely but I have to admit that I too thought there was something going on between you before you asked me out Izzy.”

“I don’t understand, what did we do?”

Isabelle asked and Simon sighed softly.

“Well you spend a lot of time talking to each other when we are all together and you hold onto Magnus quite often… and because Alec was so busy that he couldn’t join us that often and Magnus wasn’t all over him like he usually is made it seem that there was something going on between you two. And I’m not the only one who has thought that you two are together almost the whole school thinks that you two would be a great couple. You two are so similar and I’m sure Alec has noticed it too…”

They were all quiet for a moment.

“I guess you’re right… I just haven’t ever thought about it like that…”

Isabelle said quietly and then she raised her head.

“But still it isn’t true. I admit that when I first met Magnus I had a crush on him but then he liked Alec better… At first I was jealous but soon I saw how perfect they are for each other…”

Isabelle paused and turned to look at Magnus before she continued.

“You two really are perfect for each other… I can’t understand how so many miss it…”

Magnus smiled a little.

“Yeah… He’s perfect…”

Jace was still looking suspicious but Clary elbowed him and gave him a stern look.

“Okay, fine I believe you. But Bane what are you going to do now?”

Jace asked and stared at Magnus. Magnus returned the stare and answered levelly.

“I’m going to go to London to get my man of course. I need to clear all this and find out exactly what Alec thinks so I can make things right. But I’m not going to give up.”

Jace nodded and the others grinned.

“Great! I’ll call dad to find out where Alec is staying you go buy Magnus’ plane tickets and then we go to his apartment to get his things and see him to the airport.”

“Thank you… I just need to find someone to watch over Chairman for me…”

Magnus said smiling sweetly at Jace and Isabelle. Both looked horrified. The cat really hated them and it would mean dozens of scratches… But this was for Alec…

“Okay we look after him…”

Isabelle muttered.

“Oh how kind of you Izzy dear.”

Magnus said grinning. Both Jace and Isabelle muttered few curse words before Isabelle called to their father and the others went to Jace’s computer to buy the plane tickets. _“I’m coming darling and we will sort this out…”_

 


	7. In London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait. Now you can be a bit angry with me... I had had this chapter ready for a while, the only problem being to sit down and actually write it, so it doesn't just exist in my head... So I'm really sorry and I promise that the next chapter will be ubdated before this week's Friday.

"We're landing on London airport. Please keep your seatbelts on and don't leave your seats before the plane has stopped moving, thank you."

Magnus looked out the window and took a deep breathe. He was close. So close to seeing Alec. Magnus was both happy and extremely worried. What would Alec say? Would he listen to Magnus? _"No matter what's going to happen the first thing I'm doing is to kiss him and then start demanding explanations and giving explanations of my own... That sweet, stupid boy...my own sweet angel..."_

"...We have now safely landed. Thank you for choosing United airliness. We hope you will enjoy your time in London and welcome you to travel with us again. Thank you!"

The announcement woke Magnus from his thoughts and he quickly grabbed his satchel, removed his seatbelt and got up. He would have liked to rush out of the plane but he forced hmself to be patient so that he wouldn't run over other passengers in his haste. _"It won't be long anymore, just a little bit more. These people here aren't to blame for your boyfriend suddenly running off to London they don't deserve to be pushes just because you want to see Alec...see those gorgeous blue eyes and unkept mess of black hair..."_

Magnus was trying really hard to be patient but it really wasn't easy when all he could think about was seeing Alec and then righting all these stupid misunderstandings between them. Magnus just wanted his boyfriend back and to make sure Alec never had thoughts about not being good enough for Magnus because that was so far from the truth. It wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't happen over night but Magnus was determined that they could fix everything and that he could at least make sure that if Alec ever had doubts he could and should come and talk about them with Magnus. _"I love him so much and I will do everything to make sure that he knows it too."_

Slowly Magnus made his way to get his luggage. Luckily he didn't have to wait long before his sparkling violet luggage came to view. Magnus grapped it and headed to the exit. He could feel his heart starting to beat faster in his chest. Now he only had to get a taxi to drive him to where Alec was.

Magnus come out from the airport and looked around quickly spotting a taxi line. There were about ten people before him in the line so he would have to wait for a moment but that was okay. Soon, soon he would hold Alec in his arms again.

Magnus lowered the luggaged to the ground and redied himself for the wait. As the line crew shorter Magnus searched his pockets and pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper where Isabelle had written the address Alec was stayng in. She had told him that Alec was staying with some family that their father knew. Apparently the father of the family was working in Robert's company's London department and had agreed to house and teach Alec. Not that really mattered to Magnus he just wanted to see Alec. _"But perhaps I should care... I mean I left in a hurry and I don't even know where I'm going to stay if I'm not allowed to stay with them not that I know how long I'm going to be here... Yep love makes us do grazy things... I only got Alec's letter two days ago and now I'm already in London... God what this boy can make me do... Well I'll figure all that later... But it will be quite problematic if I have to stay here very long I only have clothes for three days... Okay maybe for five days if I lower my requirement a little... What a horrible thought but for Alec...anything for those blue eyes... God I really can't seem to think about anything else."_

Magnus mused to himself as he continued to wait in the taxi line. Thankfully the line moved very quickly and soon it was Magnus' turn. He got into the front seat whiile the driver lifted his luggage to the back. Then the driver took his place and glanced towards Magnus. He was clearly taken aback with the colourful clothing and glitter but luckily recovered from it soon and just asked:

"Where to?"

Magnus just handed the piece of paper to the driver and they took of. The drive was quiet. Usually Magnus tried to start conversations with everyone but now he was too excited to even think about talking. So they drove in silence.

It was approximately a twenty minute drive until the taxi driver parked in front of a medium sized two-storied light blue town house.

"We're here."

"How much do I owe you?"

Magnus asked a bit shakily. The driver told him the prize and Magnus payed and then got off of the taxi. The driver also got up to give Magnus his luggage and then he was off. Magnus just stared at the house and then he checked the address just in chase before he made his way to the door.

He could hear silent voices coming from inside but he could't hear what they were saying or who was speaking. Magnus took a final breathe and rung the bell. It didn't take long for the door to open. A red haired woman with a small boy in her arms greeted him.

"Hello, can I help you?"

She glanced at his luggage with a small frown.

"I hope so. I'm really sorry to appear here like this but I'm looking for Alexander Lightwood and I understood that he was staying with you?"

Magnus explained an smiled politely.

"Oh yes, Alexander is staying with us... And oh now I recognize you... Alec has your photo in his wallet. He showed it to me once when I asked about it and he told me that you're very important to him."

She told him smling. The information warmed Magnus heart.

"Yes, I'm Magnus Bane and Alec is really important to me too and I wanted to come here and surprise him."

"Oh how nice of you. But unfotunately Alec isn't in right now, he's still in school."

"That's alright can you tell me when he's going to get back and I can come by again?"

"Oh there's no need for that. He shoud be here in half an hour, you can wait for him here."

"Oh thank you."

"Please come in and I'm Cecily by the way and this little guy here is Edward."

"Nice to meet both of you."

Magnus smiled at the small boy who hid his face behind his hands shyly. Both adults laughed softly at that as they made their way inside.

"You can go sit in the living room. I'm going to put Edward down for a nap."

Magnus just nodded. He left his luggage to the vestibule and made his way to the living room. He sat down on the beige couch and prepared to wait.

Time seemed to be going slower and slower now that he didn't have anything else to do than just sit and wait. Magnus could hear Cecily and Edward upstairs but otherwise it was quiet. Nothing to do but wait.

It felt like a small eternity but then finally Magnus heard a key being inserted and then the front door opening... And then the voice...

"Cecily? I'm back... What's this luggage..."

Alec quieted as he lifted his head and saw Magnus who had made his way to the vestibule.

"Alexander"

Magnus breathed out and hurried towards the boy. He gently took hold of Alec's face and pulled him into a desparate and passionate kiss.


	8. We're in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is just like I promised! :) I really hope you like this chapter! There will probably be two more chapters for this story and I try to update them soon.

It took a moment but soon Alec was kissing Magnus back with the same desperation and passion. He couldn't help it Magnus was all he had thought about during his short time in London. He loved him and that wouldn't change... But he had really been convinced that it would be better if he left and gave Magnus a change to be with someone else. But now Magnus was here with him. Kissing him and he couldn't really think clearly. There was just Magnus and his soft lips against his and it felt so good. For that moment everything was fine, everything was perfect.

They continued to kiss for a long while. Still they had to break apart eventually and the moment became sooner than either of them would have wanted. Magnus was the first to pull away first. He did it as slowly as possible and stayed close to Alec still holding his face between his hands. Alec blinked his eyes open and for a moment the two of them just stared at each other.

"Magnus... How... When...You're here..."

Alec stuttered. He was still daced after the kiss and tried to figure everything out in his head. But nothing made sense, the kiss was wonderfull but Magnus wasn't supposed to be here. Did he miss him so much that he had started hallucinating... Alec's confused thoughts were stopped by Magnus exclaiming:

"Of course I'm here you silly boy! You leave without a word and then I get thhis ridicilous letter where you tell that you have gone to London and think that I should try dating other people or your sister!"

Alec flinched lightly at that but Magnus wasn't finished.

"So of course I'll come after you, you sweet idiot. I love you Alec, there's no one else I would want to be with so if you have douts I have to erase them and make you see the truth!"

"I... I just thought..."

"Is everything alright?"

Both boys startled, they hadn't heard Cecily coming down but now she was there looking at them expectantly.

"Uh...no I'm sorry Cecily...Um...this is my...my...frien Magnus and...he...uh..."

"He came to surprise you. Yes he told me and I gather that you are surprised... I hope it was a good surpise?"

She said and then glanced at Magnus before turning back to Alec. There was a slight suspicion in her voice. She was worried that she had made a mistake when he let Magnus wait for Alec here.

Alec glanced at Magnus who was still standing close to him and thought of his words before a hesitant shy smile made its way to his lips. He turned to look at Cevvily and nodded his head.

"Yeah... It was a really good surprise... I'm just really surprised..."

Magnus snorted softly and Alec let out an embaressed little laugh and Cecily just smiled.

"Good"

Alec gently took Magnus hand and tugged at it.

"Let's go to my room to talk."

He said softly when Magnus turned to look at him. Magnus nodded his constent and smiled softly at Alec. The smile was hesitantly returned before Alec turned to face Cecily again and told her that they would be upstairs. She only nodded smiling at both boys as they passed her. When they had vanished from her sight she coulnd't help but shake her head softly an amused smile on her lips. _"Ah young love and the drama it brings..."_

Alec kept a hold of Magnus hand as he led him upstairs and to the room he was staying at. Alec opened the door and guided Magnus insided before closing the door after them. Then was Magnus turn to tug at his hand and the fashion student lead them both to the bed. They sat down and turned sligtly so that they could see each other. They kept holding each others hand neither wanting to let go.

"Alexander... Please tell me what you were thinking when you were writing that letter and decided to come to London?"

Magnus asked softly. Alec took a shaky breathe and tried to think what he should answer but Magnus cut to his thoughts.

"And please tell me the truth and not some half truth because you don't want to hurt my feelings or something like that you always do when you want to protect others."

Alec looked at Magnus in the eyes for a moment before he sighed and whispered.

"Okay..."

Alec took another large breathe before he continued.

"Okay... I try to tell you everything... It...the thoughts...the insecurities started when you came back from New York and came to our house. I heard you speaking to Izzy and you were talking about how different we are and then Izzy said that she didn't understand how we work together because we're so different. Then you talked about New York and how I would have hated to be there with you because I don't understand antyhing about fashion even thought you love it... That's what started it but it just kept getting worse..."

Alec told Magnus everything he had felt after that night. He told Magnus how smiliar he and Izzy were and how well they seemed to fit together and how fun they seemed to always have together. He told about his fear that he was holding him down somehow and that he was just in his way ecause he was so antisocial and didn't like to party like Magnus did. It felt relieving to tell Magnus about his fears and insecurities. Even thought the little voice in his head still told him that if Magnus hadn't realised these things yet then he would now realise that Alec was nothing and leave him here regretting the fact that he had ever followed Alec all the way to London.

Magnus listened Alec carefully and intently. He felt pained that he hadn't noticed his boyfriends inner struggle sooner. He had never wanted to Alec think anything like that because all these things were so far from the truth. _"Calm down Magnus, now you know and now you can fix this."_

When Alec finished they were quiet for a while. But Alec coulnd't look at Magnus so he turned to look at their intertwined hands instead.

"There's still something else darling, please tell me what it is"

Magnus pleaded softly and gently lifted Alec's face with his hand under Alec's chin so that he was looking Magnus in the eyes. It took a moment before Alec hesitantly answered.

"I just can't help thinking that if you didn't think about all these things before... Then now that you now and really start to think about them you notice that it's all true and then you will leave me..."

"Oh Alec..."

Magnus breathed and he couldn't stand it anymore so he pulled Alec into his arms and held him tighly.

"Never angel! NEVER! I have and I will never think like that! Hell you obviously didn't hear the whole conversation that I had with Izzy... Yes baby, we're a bit different but that is a great thing because we complete eac other and I don't care about you not caring about fashion. You're adorable just the way you are with black tattered sweaters and all. What matters to me is that you are always willing to listen to me when I rant about fashion and you really actually listen to me... God you're so precious and you don't even see that..."

  
Magnus pulled slightly away from Alec and moved to hold Alec's face between his hands so that they were looking each other in the eyes before he continued.

"I have never liked Isabelle like that, never. When she first introduced us I knew right away that I was a goner. You were so adorable and sweet and gorgeous and you couldn't even see that. You were so convinced that you were nothing, always staying in Jace and Izzy's shadows... It really breaks my heart that you still can't see how incredible you are. I adore you Alec. I adore everything about you, there has been no one else after we met and I don't want anyone else. I just want you... I love you Alexander."

Alec was teary eyed as he looked at Magnus. Magnus' unique eyes were shining with so much feeling and it was all directed to Alec... It was overwhelming.

"I love you too...so much...I'm sorry about this...I just..."

"Shh...angel it's alright. We'll figure everything out together from now on. The only thing I need you to do is promise me that the next time you get insecure you'll come to me so we can talk about it. Can you please promise me that?

Magnus asked softly and pecked Alec's lips quickly.

"I promise"

Alec whispered as he continued to gaze at Magnus.

"Good."

And then they were kissing again. Lovingly and desperately. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and pulled him into his lap as close to him as he could. Alec eagerly pressed closer to Magnus and buried his hands into Magnus hair that was surprisingly free of any hair products.

Magnus hands gently caressed Alec's back and sides as they continued to kiss each other more softly. These kisses were loving. Both boys wanted to convince themselves that this was not a dream. They were both here and they were together and in love.

 


	9. My sweet angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter of this story. I know I said in the chapter before this that there would be two more chapters but I feel like this is the best way to end this story. I really hope you have liked it! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for all the reviews, kudos and bookmarks, they have made me really happy!

Magnus was smirking happily as he sat with Isabelle in her room. He adn Alec had just arrived from London and Magnus and Isabelle had come upstrais to talk while Alec greeted his brothers. Max was ecstatic to have his big brother back home and he wanted to tell him all the things that had happened while Alec was in London. Jace too was happy to have his brother home and wanted to talk with him.

Isabelle too had been happy to see her older brother and his boyfriend home again but she thought that she and Magnus should give her brothers some boy-time while she made sure that everything was fine between Magnus and Alec.

"So... You were supposed to go and get my brother back from London but two ended up staying there together for two months. Would you like to tell me about how it happened?"

Isabelle asked pretending to sound angry but ended up smiling. Magnus laughed.

"Izzy darling I know Alec already told you how it happened. He simply felt that he couldn't cause anymore trouble by coming home so early after everything had been organized so quickly and I simply wanted to be with him... So with you father's help we organized that I could stay in London and finish my project there. My teacher was luckily was really supporting about that. But you already knew all this Izzy dear."

Isabelle laughed.

"Yeah, I did I just wanted to you to confess that you stayed because you couldn't stay away from my brother... Last time we spoke you told me this bullshit about how you just decided to stay in London so you could get new ideas for your clothes..."

Isabelle smirked knowingly.

"Ah, you got me... I can't help it when Alec said he would have to stay in London for at least two months I knew right away that I would stay there too."

They smiled at that.

"So I trust that you two are good?"

"Better that good. I think the time in London did both of us and our relationship good. We were able to talk everything trough and spend time together. It was really wonderful."

Magnus smiled softly. Isabelle looked at him and smiled too. Both Alec and Magnus had looked so happy when they had picked them from the airport. Holding hands, smiling and giving little glances at each other.

After a moment of silence Magnus focused on Isabelle again and now he was smiling mischievously. Isabelle cocked an eyebrow at him.

"So tell me Isabelle darling, how's Chairman Meow?"

A scowl instantly made its way to Isabelle's face as Magnus looked at her bare arms that were covered in small scrathes.

"Oh don't you dare Bane. You should be thankful that we agreed to take that little monster in... He's horrible. I'm sure that he's a devil in disguise both me and Jace are full scratches from that little devil."

Magnus laughed and at the same time Alec knocked and entered into the room carrying a happily purring Chairman in his arms. Isabelle glared. Sure that little devil was all sweet now...

Alec smiled at Magnus who had started laughing even louder.

"A little devil you say Isabelle... It...it doesn't look like that to me..."

Magnus managed to chuckle out. Isabelle stuck his tongue out at the fashion student. It was so infuriating that the small cat was now happily purring in Alec's arms and rubbing aganst his chest when she and Jace only met claws when they tried to approach the tabby cat.

Alec watched the two in light confusion.

"What's so funny?"

Alec asked softly and tilted his head slightly to the right side.

"Oh you're so adorable darling."

Magnus cooed and got up and moved to Alec. He wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and kissed his now red cheek. The action made Isabelle smile too.

"We were just talking about Chairman Meow darling, your sister here seems to think that he's a devil in disguise."

Magnus smirked as Isabelle scowled at him and Alec smiled at his sister.

"I'm sure he's been a handful but thank you for looking after him so Magnus was able to stay in London too..."

Alec said softly and Isabelle had to smile as Magnus gave Alec's cheek another peck.

"Of course big brother."

The siblings smiled at each other. Everything was okay now. Magnus and Alec had made up and tlaked with each other. Isabelle and Alec had too talked on the phone a lot and knew that neither blamed the other for anything. This all had been just a big misunderstanding that Alec's insecurities had given fuel to. Isabelle was sad to realise how insecure his brother could be but luckily he had Magnus to help him with them.

"You too really are perfect for each other!"

Isabelle declared making Magnus beam proudly and Alec blush and smile shyly.

"Indeed we are."

Magnus confirmed and pulled Alec closer to him and gently turned Alec face towards him. Magnus leaned forward to gently kiss Alec's lips.

"You're my sweet, sweet angel."

Magnus whispered softly making Alec blush even redder but he was smiling still smiling happily.

"Love you"

"Love you too, darling."

"Ooh, you two are so cute I'm going to puke any minute now. So I'll leave you alone for a moment but you better come to downstairs soon and tell us all about London... And don't even think about doing anything nasty in my room."

And with that Isabelle walked past the two boys and made her way downstairs.

"IZZY!"

Alec yelled and hid face in Magnus chest that was shaking with laughter. Chairman Meow let out a questioning meow from Alec's arms like he wanted to know what was wrong. Both Magnus and Alec turned to look at the small cat in Alec's arms. Magnus started gently scratch him behind his ears and smiled at the small cat.

"Don't worry Chairman everything's fine and we are going to go home soon. And I promise that I won't be leaving you for a long while so you don't have to worry about staying here for longer."

The cat let out a loud meow like he agreed and Alec laughed softly at his boyfriend. Magnus looked at Alec and smiled too. Then he gently picked Chairman from Alec's arms and lowered the cat to the ground and the cat made its way out of the room. After that Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and pulled him tightly against him.

"It's nice to be back home."

"Yeah, it is. I missed my sibblings."

The two continued to embrace each other just enjoying the closenesness.

"We better go downstrais before Izzy comes back and drags us there."

Alec said softly and Magnus just nodded but pulled Alec in for a long deep kiss before he was ready to let the younger boy out of his arms. They kissed softly without hurrying the kiss. Nipping and sucking each other's lips playfully.

Finally they pulled apart and Magnus took a hold Alec's left hand and intertwined their fingers as they started heading downstairs.

"Come on angel, let's go tell them about our amazing time in London!"

Magnus exclaimed and gently pulled a laughing Alec's hand.

"I'm coming."

Alec smiled but pulled Magnus slightly back and kissed him softly.

"Thank you for coming after me."

"Anytime darling, you know I would be lost without you."

They exchangeed one last kiss before they joined Alec's sibblings in the living room. They would have time for more later.


End file.
